You’ve produced much more than you realize.Your work is likely far better than you originally thought it was.And if you stop to listen, you’ll discover that it touched more people than you intended.You deserve to feel exactly as you feel after that reflection.Enjoy.
“Lyndon Johnson, for all his good and all of his bad, often shared the story of a cook he employed while advocating for civil rights” - Zephyr Wright.
Nobody would have thought that a humble cook could make such an impact on someone such as Johnson - but she did. Her story of indignities suffered ignited a spark in Johnson that would cause him to take her story far and wide as a tool to garner support for the Civil Rights Act - like a bee pollinating flowers.
I played for a brunch today in Lake Geneva - solo piano.
When I play solo piano, I realize that my job is simple: create an atmosphere for special things to happen.
Any musician can tell you that it’s not the most artistically fulfilling work - and that’s not what the work is for.
I found inspiration watching people sit back, sip their champagne, and look out upon the lake and I could imagine them thinking to themselves: this is exactly how I pictured this moment.
The need to control everything but yourself and your behavior is overrated. Why frustrate yourself trying?You are better off accepting what is and working with what is actually yours - time.
“Nothing, to my way of thinking, is better proof of a well ordered mind than a [person’s] ability to stop just where [they are] and pass some time in [their] own company.” - Seneca, Letter IIThe hardest lesson I have learned in the last 10 years is that - to learn how to be my own friend. To be comfortable not just in my skin but in other aspects about me: how I think, decisions I made, where I might go, what I can do, or what I can’t. Self love often takes the form of day spas, shopping therapy, meditation, and walks… but self-love is so much more. It is, as Seneca rightly says, your ability to stop and be content just being with you.
Do you stop enough to ask yourself: What is the smallest step I can take now so that I progress towards my goal? Many of our lives are governed by lists of all types: groceries, errands, honey-do’s, job-related, tax-related, business-related, chores, clothing-relate - you name it. And more often than not I see those lists overwhelm people. What if we stopped having lists? What if we started having the One Thing list. The one thing that I must accomplish today that will make my life better? The one thing that I must do today to make the lives of others better?Indeed, the smallest step towards progress is better than what Churchill coined, “analysis paralysis.”
General truthsYou likely want and try to perform at your best. Others are like you - trying to do their best.You would like to be aware when your performance is less than optimal.Kindness is love.If you want to be loved, love.If you want to build trusting relationships, be kind and help people perform at their best.
What sounds better?I care about you getting what you need to be happy; this job won’t help you get there in this way _____. I’m happy to help you get to where you are going. Would that help?Or…Thanks so much for chatting! It was great talking to you. I’ll get back to you soon. [Recruiter sends you an email a week later declining the job without explanation]Nice is avoiding the direct conflict and opting for an email.Kindness is having the courage to speak the truth and the compassion to help someone move forward.Kindness trumps niceness.
“To win true freedom you must be a slave to philosophy.” - Seneca, Letter to Lucilius VIIIUnderstand that during Seneca’s time, philosophy meant “a way to live.” It did not mean sitting under a tree while pondering life… it meant “doing life;” and for Seneca that meant “doing life in line with his virtues.”To truly feel freedom, we must be commit ourselves to our virtues. Well, what’s a virtue?The Stoics talk about the four virtues of wisdom, justice, temperance, and courage, but I suggest they could come from religion or any source you go to for moral guidance. To truly feel freedom we must commit ourselves to living according to our moral compass. For me, that means living life in a way that allows me to do something for someone else that matters. My goal is not to let the outside world keep me from living in such a way, and so long as I keep that top of mind, I feel free.What do you value?
“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”Life requires action, but action requires energy, and energy is born from rest.Rest leads to boredom, and boredom is the friction required to act.That’s why inaction is as powerful action.