After three conversations in the last 72 hours with wildly different people, I am convinced more than ever that when people are seeking certainty they are actually seeking clarity. To help others realize that I used this example:Imagine you’re in a room that’s pitch black.“Would you rather:Take a step and know that there was ground to step on? Or,Be able to shine on a light on the ground in front of you to see what’s there?”Option 1 was selected more than 2 - no surprises. I then asked:“If you don’t know for certain, then how can you step?”Most people answered, “I couldn’t. I would be stuck.”“What if you shined a light? Would you still be stuck?”

They matter - and when you get used to them they become like an addiction. And when you stop them suddenly, like an addiction, you go through withdrawal. Just a proof that the most important thing we can do, when we commit, is show up - consistently.As I think about it… perhaps “routine” is not the right word. A routine is only the end product of the bigger thing we need to do - commit. Perhaps what we crave is people in our lives who commit - commit to showing up, to serve, to do the thing we need them to do, to make the change only they can make. When others say to you, “you need to commit to a routine,” what they’re actually saying is, “why are you so afraid of showing up?”

Creating clarity is like turning on a flashlight in a dark room - it illuminates what’s in front of you.Desiring certainty is like wanting to walk blindfolded in a kid’s toy room and not trip over anything. Certainty is a fallacy - it’s a fallacy that doesn’t help you solve problems - blind hope.Clarity creates the space to solve problems, make decisions, and act. It’s that hopeful feeling you get in your gut when you say, “maybe this might work.”Effective leaders create and seek clarity and downplay the need for certainty.HT to Admired Leadership for today’s inspiration and the conversations it enabled me to have with others.

Try something out and see how it goes. Let others know what you’re trying to do, show your work, and let them know when you fail. The ones you showed your work to may have ideas to help you test better in the future.It’s a good practice to let others know when you have failed - it makes you comfortable with failure.A peace can be found in closing the books. It’s okay if the test fails. It’s just a test.Your life is a series of failures. And you likely have, as Churchill stated, jumped from “one failure to the next with no less of enthusiasm.”Perhaps that’s why I’m so happy :)

Life lesson learned in the last 72 hours. Take a beat. Remind yourself that you’re going to be fine. The only thing you own, that’s secure, that’s yours, that nobody can take from you is the present. You get to choose what happens in the present.Choice is agency.Agency is freedom to be you.Being you is what you’re here for.Take a beat.

Bias is required for survival. It also gets in the way. If you’re interviewing someone for a job and you start to hear that voice in your head saying “they’ve only been at their current job for a 6 months, they’re not happy,” that’s bias. It’s not productive bias for that matter.Instead of deciding to write the person off as a job jumper, ask, “Why the move now?” Leverage your bias to be more curious, to understand more.Wash, rinse, and repeat that concept the next time someone cuts you off in traffic, or says something that triggers an immediate reaction. Your bias is your invitation towards curiosity and possibility.Curiosity is your invitation towards connection and action.Action is the way that you make change happen.

“The more strictly and mercilessly you judge yourself, the more just and kind you will be in the judgment of others.” - Confucius as quoted by Leo Tolstoy in “A Calendar of Wisdom”Yesterday, I wrote about not being too hard on yourself. But does Confucius make a reversal on my ideas? Tolstoy goes on to quote the Talmud following the Confucius quote:“Do not glorify in blaming and despising other people. A kind person should hide the shame of others, even those who have harmed him.” - The TalmudPerhaps the ancients are saying this:Don’t shame others - be kind;Give yourself and others grace - we’re only human; andLove, in the form of kindness, is about bringing people up - being their biggest fan.

Facts from a life in entertainment:You’re always going to be your harshest critic. The people you are serving want you to succeed. Instead of beating yourself up, be thankful that you got to do something for someone that cares about you and your success. Grant yourself grace and love your fans.

… they wake up and go to work. I know they do it because I hear the birds… early. Perhaps the birds are chirping to themselves, “just a few more moments, I’m tired.” But I don’t think so. But not just birds and bees, flowers do too. In the morning, the dandelions open up.But not just the flowers, stars do it - every morning the sun rises. Birds, bees, flowers, and stars all - without fail - rise every morning to do the work they’re supposed to do - their natural responsibility.Get up, make the bed, and make the change only you can make happen.

Besides “your playing sounded ridiculously intentional” the next best compliment you can give a musician is to invite them back - to play again. Coming back to play is the ultimate win because it means you get play again.What if we looked at our failures that way? Instead of beating ourselves up over a mishap at work, we could say to ourselves, “hey, I get to come back tomorrow and play again.”Perhaps the goal is not to win the most games, but it’s to get the more opportunities to make the most of the moments we are given. Perhaps the greatest reward we might get in this life is that each morning our eyes open, our lungs breathe, and we get invited back - to do it again - and this time - to do it better.Welcome to Monday!