As best you can, try to understand something from someone else’s perspective.Want to understand what’s happening in Russia and Ukraine? Have you considered a realist perspective in addition to your own?Want to better understand coffee? Have you explored the importance of processing and how it impacts flavor of specialty coffee?Want to understand how to get a raise? Consider developing more awareness about power and how it moves.Beyond everything we see, there’s always something more - another perspective, a philosophy, a first principles.Seek to understand the first principles of things.I’m doing that now. I’m finding that I see the world in a much calmer way - history repeats, humans (for the most part) are relatively simple, and there’s much more to things than meet the eye.

What’s the difference between “How do I…” and “What are the next steps to…"?What questions ask us to identify the actual steps required as if we know the process.How questions ask us to think about the process.Perhaps thinking first about the process helps us determine what the relevant and effective next steps could be.As a musician, I often think: “what if I tried something like this?” and then,I’ll translate that into “how might I use that idea in…?“I’ll know the work was right or wrong based on the reaction of the other musicians, how well the idea compliments the song, and… actually thinking like an artist… is the idea in the realm of good taste? Does the idea accomplish what the idea was for?Start with “how” and then go to “what” and validate your work against your “why”.

A system is a way of doing things - like algebra, A+B = C.The inputs can change, but the formula stays the same.When you don’t know what what you don’t know, you need a system to help you figure out what to do next.In his book, A More Beautiful Question, Warren Berger offers us a system for bring “some semblance of order to a process that is by nature, chaotic and unpredictable.“Why + What If + How = Solution.Here’s an example from the book:Person encounters a situation that is less than ideal: asks Why.Person begins to come up with ideas for possible improvement/solutions - with such ideas usually surfacing in the form of What If possibilities.Person takes one of those possibilities and tries to implement it or make it real; this mostly involves figuring out How.Try the system out. Test the results. Tweak the inputs. Try again.Also…Unrelated but just as interesting and pleasing… W(hole)+W(hole)+H(alf) is also the combination of intervals required to reach a major third above any tonic… it’s a pleasing interval.

If you’re staying in a job that’s not bringing you joy, why not move?Perhaps you stay because the job is what you know… what if you can’t be as effective in your next job?Perhaps you stay because it’s a job and that job provides security… what if you can’t find another job? How will you take care of yourself or others?Perhaps you stay because it’s easier to stay and put up with it… what if you could be happier being more of what you could be somewhere else?Find work that matters.Find work that invites you to stretch and grow, to serve more people in a way that resonates with you, and allows you to be more of who you know yourself to be.If that possibility existed for you, and it does, why not move towards it?

Give yourself time and space to solve problems.

Your brain needs time to disconnect, to reflect on the past, to contemplate the future, and to combine all of your various influences so that possible solutions percolate to the top.

Don’t think you have time?

Missing someone is not missing their presence. It is missing the feeling you get being around that person. It is remember what that person brought to you. To be missed is to have made an impact on someone so great that they enjoy retelling themselves what it meant to be with you.The goal is not to be missed. The goal is to serve who and what you can now. Being missed is just the result.

Humility is the freedom of pride and arrogance. It is not allowing ourselves to get in the way of ourselves helping others.We can use questions to do that. How?We use questions that seek to expand thinking… instead of criticizing leaders in “got’chya” style questions, like we see poor journalists do, we invite leaders to open their eyes to expansive points of view.The same could be said for those people in our charge.Instead of “why did we miss this?” we ask, “what is our opportunity to catch more things like this in the future?“Instead of asking “why are you falling behind in class?” we ask, “what opportunities do you see to help improve your grades?“These questions remove our need to be better - our pride and arrogance - and instead set up up the person we’re seeking to serve for success.Questions are a form of effective servant leadership.

But try it anyways.When you start a new job and your supervisor is showing you how to do something ask: “Why do we do it this way? What is this task for? Who is it for? Does doing this task help us understand what and who this task is for?“If you ask these questions with a generous heart, you will stop people in their tracks - they’ll have to think.In fact they will get so frustrated that they might ask you to stop asking so many questions. Your supervisor might say, “you ask too many questions, we just do it this way.” And what if you accepted that response?Structures that have top-down autocratic style operations reward compliance. The questions above are not for compliance. They are for understanding the first principles of tasks, a job, and for ultimately identifying who we are serving and why they care.You don’t need to be a revolutionary to make change happen.You can be quiet, introverted, and genuinely curious.Because you care.

A calling is the bridge between our questions and the journeys we take to answer them. Heading a call is deciding to find/create the answer to the question.If you want to get people to walk the path with you, invite them on a journey to answer a question.

Looking back, what you learned? How have you grown? Where did you fail? Where did you thrive?History repeats itself. You will experience moments like this again… more times than you necessarily want. The question is not “when,” but How will you more effectively manage yourself next time?