I have lived with bipolar disorder (so I’m told).But having lived with that condition doesn’t define me.I have control over how I show up.I get to make a choice how I will act.When I feel at my heaviest, where I simply “cannot” with life, I have a choice to show up for others.When I feel light, fast, and that nothing can stop me now, I have a choice to mindfully show up for others.When I am frustrated by a meeting that’s going on, and on, and on… I have a choice to lend a smile, try to engage, or suggest an alternative for next time.The question is not if you have a control, the question is, how will you use that control?What are you going to do with that power?When you’re not feeling life, are you going to choose to show up for us?When you’re angry, are you going to choose to act with kindness and helpfulness?When you’re stressed, are you going to choose to ask for help, or for time to yourself?Whatever the choice is - the choice is yours.What are you going to do that with control?

When you walk towards someone, you’re likely to move to one side so that you can avoid them. But then sometimes they move to do the same… but they move in the same way you did. You’re about to collide.

So you move to the different side, but they do too.

The question is asked: “Shall we dance?”

Obstacles are like people walking towards you. You pivot to give way, but the obstacle pivots too. Before you know it, you’re pivoting again, and so does the obstacle.

Take your hand and turn it so that the palm faces up.Cup your hand as if it were holding a small pile of sand - small enough to fit in your palm.Now squeeze your hand.What happens to the imaginary sand?Now do the same thing again, but instead of squeezing imagine you lightly cup your hand. What happens to the imaginary sand?When you try to ultra-control life, you squeeze the sand out of your hand.When you allow life to happen, the sand exists undisturbed - at peace.Is that much control that worth it?

Yesterday, I had a moment. You have moments too, right? It’s not just me.In this moment I said to myself, “that’s it, I’m done, conversation over, I’m out.“Then I remembered something I read, “we can accommodate and adapt… the impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way, becomes the way.“Instantly, an energy came over me. How might this impediment become the way forward? How might I leverage this feeling I have to advance a cause? To make something better? How might I leverage devices I have seen successfully used by others to make this thing right?In only a few minutes I took to the computer and developed a plan that would address the impediment. I designed work that was needed and I shipped it to people who cared.The response to my work was well-received, it was appreciated, “it’s needed.“Truly - what stands in your way, becomes the way.You get to leverage your obstacles and make something with them if you choose.

Do you know what it means to be part of a studio? What do you get to do as part of a studio?Work collaboratively with peers.Create and define a vision for work.Make and keep promises.Be Curious. What if? How might we? What’s the real challenge? What can we?Test. Make hypothesis statements and test them.Learn. What did our tests show us?Ship work. Make change happen.A studio is the opposite of an institution:Stay in your lane thinking.We’ve always done it this way - “we don’t want any of your new ideas.“Bureaucracy - red tape, procedures for the sake of it.What doesn’t fit, doesn’t belong attitude.There is no better feeling to approach your work as an artist in a studio. The freedom to try with the discipline to ship. That’s the way I love to work, and it’s the type of environment I try to build.Why am I telling you this?Because you can create a studio anywhere. You can create one in your home, in your practice, in your government job, in your college, or on your team.A studio is not a big open space with bean bags where chaos happens. It’s a mindset, an approach, and a posture towards your practice.

When you fail, and you will today, stop and listen.What happened just before?What were you trying to do? What was the outcome you had hoped for?How might you do it better?Are you getting feedback that you can use from someone? Does the feedback help you achieve the outcome you had hoped for? Yes? Use it. No? Ask for clarification.What if you tried the work again but changed one thing? What might you change?How did the work resonate with the people I was trying to serve? Was it a dud? Or did it land, but not as good as it could? Tweak the song, change some words, adjust a graphic, adapt your approach.Try again.Fail again.Grow again.

I’ve been reading a lot about Oswald Avery and his work trying to find the 1918 influenza pathogen - see last post. I find this guy’s devotion to the craft of exploration fascinating, and today he did not disappoint.“Whenever you fall, pick up something.“When we fail at accomplishing our goal, read: when we fall, there will be other bits of information on the ground that we can pick up. Data points like ideas we abandoned, reflections on efforts that worked but didn’t yield the right results, reflections on efforts that failed but we still persisted, and the like.Our fails/falls invite us to review everything we did and pick up something that will help us as we step towards achieving our goals in the future.Failure is only failure if you choose not to learn.Do not let your fails and your falls go to waste.Pick up something to use, leverage, and benefit from.Thanks, Mr. Avery.

Owald Avery was a medical research for the Rockefeller Institute. He was also a key player in the attempt to identify the pathogen of the 1918 influenza pandemic.Avery believed that “results… are not random products of chance observation. They are the fruit of years of wise reflection, objective thinking, and thoughtful experimentation.“John Barry, author of the Great Influenza, studied Avery and others. In his book, Barry goes on to describe the process that these researchers went through to try and achieve a result/outcome - identifying the pathogen. As I was thinking about it… there’s lots to be learned about this process - we could apply it to our own attempts to achieve goals.Declare your goal/identify the problem.Identify all the things that can be learned about achieving your goal and determine how you can learn more about each thing.Deep dive - start learning! With each new learning, ask “So what?” Determine why that learning is important.Think creatively - ask “what if?” questions. What if we did (blank) instead of (blank)?Make a plan. How might we do (blank)?Experiment - test the plan.Gather feedback - did it work? did it not work?Repeat steps 4, 5, 6, and 7 over and over again. Learn more and more until you achieve your goal.If Avery is right - the only way we’ll achieve a goal, result, solve a problem is through a process. A process that combines scientific and creative thinking skills.A bit complicated? Sure. But it’s an idea. An idea is a great place to start.

If we’re being honest, are you really honest with yourself?Think about all the ways that we are potentially not honest with ourselves:That someone’s words or actions hurt us. Words can’t harm us, it’s in our perception that harm exists. Words are simply air passing through the reed that is our vocal chord. Words are neither good nor bad.That we are better (or worse) than we are. Do we really know what’s best for others? Are you really worse off than you thought? Who are you comparing yourself to, and are they playing the same game as you? What are you so afraid of?That today is going to suck. Says who? You get to decide how today will go by your decisions now.That others hate/dislike you. They might, but that’s their problem with you, not your problem. They also might not - in fact, they might not even care enough about you to hate you. Why are you so special?I might be picking on small self-talk, but that self-talk adds up. But, if anybody spoke to you the way that you speak to yourself, you wouldn’t be their friend.Be in pursuit of the truth - the absolute and emotionless truth.If you can do that, you change your self-talk, you walk with equanimity, you become honest with yourself.

I’m taking today not to communicate what I’m thinking now.Not for any negative reason.I have been distilling and synthesizing so many ideas that I need to let them marinade.Are you giving yourself that time?Time to exist with your thoughts - to reflect on them, wonder what they mean, identify what you might do with them?The best moment I had today was sitting in my piano room with a cup of tea while staring at the piano… thinking of absolutely nothing but that the piano existed, and that I existed with it.