Yes! Yes I did.In fact I had great sleep!Creating an outline of what I was fearing allowed me to shine a light on the proverbial monster in my closet - it made the monster real. Then, because it was real I could deal with it. How did I deal with it?First, I understood the short and long-term implications of my decisions and decided I could accept them.Second, I wrote about it to you. Writing helped. The physical and mental activity of writing is almost like my body’s way of using the energy - doing something with it.Third, I went to bed. But when my mind started to think about the problem, I opened my journal and wrote out my thoughts. Eventually, I drained my brain of thoughts to write about. When my brain was drained of thoughts to physicalize, I fell asleep. That process might have kept me up an additional 20 minutes more than normal.Today, I woke up feeling pretty dang good! So much so that I wanted to write you about this topic rather than other ideas I have brewing in the ol’noggin.I hope it helps.

I have to make a tough decision - whether to do something or not. I have to weigh how my decision will impact others. I have to communicate that decision to people. I have to consider how that decision will impact my personal life. What will happen if I decide wrong?At least that’s how my thinking started out. Then I stopped, and took a breath.What is it that I have to make?I get to make a decision to do something.Who is the decision for?The decision is for me.What is the decision for?The decision is for choosing what I do.What are the implications of the decision?None that can’t be overcome.Then, why am I so afraid of it?I guess I am not.I can make the decision, ship it to the people who need to know it, and go on living my life.What caused so much anxiety?I didn’t stop to define what I needed to do, who it was for, what it was for, and what happens as a result of it. I was scared of how others might perceive my decision. But that perception ultimately doesn’t matter, life will go on.I learned three things from this problem that I recently solved.Creating an outline of what I fear helps. Can’t color in what you don’t see. You don’t get better at being an artist unless you ship your work. And,Someone who makes decisions, makes art.

Imagine that you’re reading this blog and that you also have a laundry list of tasks, priorities, issues, concerns, risks, people, organizations, fundraisers, parties (virtual ones too), meetings, 1 on 1s, presentations, sales, gigs, or recording sessions to design, prepare, meet on, plan, attend, care for, reflect on, or worry about.Now that you’re imaging that… imagine yourself just wanting to get away from it all. What does that look like? Is it a vacation? A week off? Some time for yourself somewhere other than here?What if time for yourself could happen at any time, anywhere, even right here and right now? And if you can say “okay” to that, consider this dead smart guy’s 3-step approach to having that “time for yourself.“Go to a place where you can sit, exist, and focus on your breathing, then ask yourself:Am I able to be myself and be honest - be straightforward - now and after I’m done with this? No? Remain with #1 until you can. Yes? Go to #2.Is what is bothering me actually (read: literally) physically hurting me? Yes? Call 911 now. No? Go to #3.What is bothering me is not physically hurting me, therefore what it is bothering me is a perception. Can I accept that I am in a small place that exists upon a huge planet which is in an even huger universe and that at any time it all could go away? Yes? You’re ready. Stop and return to the world. No? You didn’t answer #1 honestly - go back and this time be honest with yourself.Pro tipNobody is trying to do the wrong thing.Doing the right thing demands patience.Keep your mouth shut - you had your moment with yourself - you escaped - now it’s time to move on. (Literally the best piece of advice I have ever received and don’t follow enough… ask anybody that knows me.)Many thanks to dead smart guy, Marcus Aurelius, for the 3-steps and the bonus reminders ;-)

First, having worked with many hundreds of jazz musicians, they all would be surprised to find a post like the one I’m about to share with you. But it’s true!Jazz musicians - or any musician who plays an improvisatory style of music - are extremely productive.To make improvised music, here’s what you must do, this is the secret:Be totally in the present.That’s it.You must be totally in the “here and now”.If you cannot be “in the moment,” here’s what happens:Classical music ;-) (“ha ha” to the classical musicians/music teachers who read the blog - that was just a joke)The song and the others will literally pass you by.You will quickly find yourself lost - and you will feel lost. You might literally ask, “Where am I? Where are we?” And someone will respond, “we are here. where are you?“The piece will collapse. It will collapse because the unit is not “together” - someone is somewhere else.Art will not be made - the audience won’t find value in the work. How could they? The group wasn’t together - someone was somewhere other than “here.“So how do jazz musicians overcome the obstacles that take us out of “now”?Listen. We are constantly listening to what’s going on around us - we are hyper aware of “now.“Improvise - put the “jazz” in jazz. Instead of reacting, we might choose to stop, listen, and find a way to contribute to the piece so that we can orientate ourselves.We make the obstacle the contribution. When an obstacle gets in the way - someone gets lost, makes a mistake, or something else - we embrace it! We go with it. Singer comes in early? Great, let’s join the singer! (Not that that ever happens). Paddy missed a beat? Cool, let’s find a creative way to get us back on beat - yay, we created something!The ultimate, power-packed, never-fail way to crushing the obstacles that are getting in the way of work that matters, is you deciding to embrace the obstacles, leverage them, and make them part of your work.If you can do that, you could have a career in jazz.You just better enjoy a ramen noodles only diet. ;-)

Before reading on… first think of all the things that are keeping you up at night. Go on.All of them.Now… imagine that you die immediately after reading this post. After you have left us, will those things still be as important as you are making them out now? Will they eventually get worked out?

“It’s not really about me, it’s about who I am a part of.” - Dad

Dad is aging - he’s got Alzheimer’s and he’s degrading - that’s what sometimes happens. And it’s okay. He won’t be the last person to have it, and he’s not the first. And if you live with somebody who has Alzheimer’s, you’ll notice they have these moments of total clarity and profoundness. I had that moment the other day.

I am terrible at coloring in the lines. “But David, " you say, “that’s a skill you learn in kindergarten.” So is “following directions” and I still don’t do that well.This post is not about following directions, or why I still haven’t learned kindergarten lessons. It’s about fear… and coloring books.My mother is a problem-solver, and this post is not a knock on her. It’s about me. A few days ago, I got sick. My mother - because she’s the best mom in the world - called me to check in. When I woke up from nap 7 (of seemingly 20) I noticed she called and called her back.My mother is a problem-solver.“Well, did you get a booster? You know Walgreens does free delivery? Are you going to the place your sister told you about?“Those questions come from the most loving of places. But at that time, all I wanted was to talk with my mom. I didn’t have a problem to solve, it was being solved. But… the call made me anxious.So, how does this connect with the coloring book?I didn’t create a border for my mom to color in.Instead, I thought of questions like: why was I responding this way to someone who loves me so much? Why is this getting to me? Why am I stressing out about this call? What am I so afraid of?My therapist, shout out to Dr. Mike, had one time told me that emotions are chemical reactions, and his words were coming into the foreground of my thoughts as I was trying to understand why my mom’s call bothered me.I realized that the reaction was a stress reaction. Biologically, my brain perceived a threat, sent cortisol piping through my veins, created a bit of inflammation, and prepared me to run away from the tiger. Wow!And this was all because I - I - failed to set an expectation for my mom that all I wanted from her was a “hey, how are you? I loved your last blog post. Okay… now drink plenty of fluids and call me tomorrow.” And as a result of failing to set an expectation - to create the border for my mom to color in - I didn’t set up my mom (or I for that matter) for success. Instead, she was coloring blind.Don’t color blind, know where the borders are.Fear is a feeling from needing to feel the safety of expectation, but expectation is not there.If I would have drew an outline of what I was hoping for when my mom started to problem-solve, I would have given my mom the instruction book she needed to be the best and most effective she could be. She colored blind - she didn’t know where the borders were.Do you know where the borders are?Part of leveraging fear (and I use that term broadly) is defining it - to “trace it’s outline” as Marcus Aurelius would write. And, when you trace an outline of the thing that keeps you up at night, a mild annoyance, a careless neighbor, or yourself (as was the case) you enable yourself (and others) to come alive and be their most effective selves.Thanks for bearing with me today - I know it was a longer post.

I believe, based purely on my observations, that a challenge for a people manager is helping their team define their fear. What do I mean?Individual Contributors are trying to do the work that’s asked of them and achieve a result in a way that causes them little-to-no-stress and (hopefully) helps them earn their bonus. Also, they likely care deeply for their work and their outcomes. But they’re also scared.They’re scared of giving you “real” feedback. They’re scared of telling you what’s really up with their book of business. They are scared of telling you that they’re not happy in their work and are looking for another job. What are they scared of?We don’t know. That’s the problem.I recently advised a family member that they should tell their employer that they starting a job search. “But, David, what if Sally Sue doesn’t find a job and now she’s stuck at her current job?“Here’s another example…I had an Individual Contributor tell me that they intended to start a job search. As a person, job searches excite me because I enjoy helping people with them. (As a manager at a company, I realize that it’s not the best thing for the company.) I said to the person, “that’s exciting! What are you looking to get to do more of in your new role that you are not doing here?” It was clear that the person was shocked with the response, they didn’t know what to expect.And that’s the learning!Fear is a feeling from needing to feel the safety of expectation, but expectation is not there.If you are leading a team, realize that your Individual Contributors want to know what to expect - not just from the job, but from you as a person. Be upfront. Show them that you are who you say you are, and let them know it’s safe for them to be themselves with you. Hey, you might just develop a healthy friendship out of it!If you are not a leader and wondering what to do with this post… realize that you have fears because you need the safety of an expectation. During times when safety doesn’t feel right around the corner, it’s easy to give into fear. Instead of giving in, leverage it. That’s tomorrow’s post.

Seafarers are people who work aboard seagoing vessels. I worked aboard cruise ships for many years as a musician. What was it like?

I would leave home, flying to a city such as Miami or Seattle to meet the ship. I would board, and remain on board for 7-10 months. During that time, we would leave our home port - the port we pick up and return passengers to every 7-21 days - and set sail for a voyage. I must have sailed thousands of voyages all over the world. Here’s the thing with voyages: all voyages have a start, a middle, and an end.

The best musicians are the ones who were, at one point in their career, comfortable being bad. Everybody starts somewhere - at the beginning. Thinking about the best musicians, how might we take a lesson from their book and become the best we can be?We discipline our mind.We develop an intentional and daily practice of doing something - practicing your scales, taking a walk, saying “no” to dessert, taking a breath before we react, pausing to think before we judge, etc. Like working out, routinely exercise the muscles and they’ll grow.How to discipline the mind?Develop and maintain a daily routine of some kind: morning, work startup, before bed, dinner, whatever.Exercise your mind - daily. Read a book, listen to music, take up an artistic hobby, learn how to identify bird calls - literally any thing to exercise your mind.Decide how you want to improve. Is it your ability to think through challenges? Decision making? Leadership? Marketing?Identify what 3 next steps you’ll need to take to get better. Perhaps it’s reading a book? Setting and keeping a release date? Survey your customers?Do the thing - ship your work. Be okay with yourself if it sucks… you have to start somewhere!Learn and improve - wash, rinse, and repeat.The goal is not to get good at a hobby or become a master at making your bed, the outcome we’re after is an agile, resilient, and creative mind that’s ready to ship work, look bad, learn, and get better.Learning a hard skill is easy. It’s the real skills of resiliency and vulnerability that take work.