“Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”—Christopher Robbin

I’ll be taking a few days off to enjoy nothing with the hopes it leads me to something.

I’ll see you soon… likely January 1, 2022.

Take some time to do nothing ;-)

I sat in a meeting the other day.My problem is that I want to be executing work. I don’t want to sit around too long and talk… I want to get out on the stage, and just go for it. Thoughtfully… but also, just go for it.In this meeting that I attended, there was a lot of talk, lots of updates, lots of me needing to listen and be present. That’s hard for me.It’s hard for me to sit steady and just listen. But… I remembered something that helped me focus, and maybe it would help you. Here’s what I said to myself:What’s happening to me, right now, is not hurting me or changing who I am. Because of that, it’s neither good, nor is it bad. Because of that, you can tolerate it.A useful reminder for any occasion.

“Results… are not random products of chance observations. They are the fruit of years of wise reflection, objective thinking, and thoughtful experimentation.” - Oswald Avery.Oswald Avery played a major role in trying to understand what was killing people in 1918. Later, in the 30s, we would come to know it was an influenza virus. But back in 1918, they thought it was a bacteria. This post is not about Corona Virus. The post is about how you approach doing your work.I have led and managed people that were results-oriented. They wanted to see themselves with new titles, more money, more stature, and more responsibility. They chased, for better or worse, the result.The problem is, chasing the results doesn’t lead to results. Then what does?Thoughtfulness. Why is what you’re trying to do matter? Who does it matter to? What is it for? Why is it needed? What change am I trying to make?Objective Thinking. How will I know it worked? How will I know it had the intended impact? Did it work? What could I have done better? How might I improve?Experimentation. What if I try this? What if we combined A with B, would that work? It looks like when I do this, A happens… well how about trying this instead? Thinking outside the box.I could not agree with Oswald any more than I already do - I’m 100% behind this cat.Doing the work matters, and that work out to be thoughtful, objective thought out, and leverage your creative abilities.Do that work to see results that matter.

“What am I doing here? What am I put on this earth to do?”

Right now, as I sit here, it’s to share an insight I’ve gathered from my life so that you might leverage that insight to do something that matters. As I write to you, I am fulfilling my purpose to exist.

What if our life’s purpose was that simple and that “in the moment”?

As you sit here, now, reading these words, what are you hoping to walk away with?

I get asked, a lot, how I got good at reading people.Here’s the secret that only you know… I don’t read people.“But David, you seem to size people up pretty quick, you seem to know what motivates them, they respond to you… surely there must be a way?“There’s always a way, and don’t call me Surely ;-).I am effective at enabling people to be themselves around me - that’s what everybody wants, right? To be themselves.How do you enable someone to be themselves?You show up as yourself.You encourage others to be themselves - “be comfortable, all I want is a conversation, what are you hoping for?” Once they share, you respond, “I can do that for you.“You be curious. Seek to understand the person. Develop a sense of empathy for them - put yourself in their story.You be judge free. The key to getting people to show themselves is not judging people for showing themselves ;-)You repeat back what you learned - show the person that you saw them.You build on their what you saw - perhaps there’s a way that person can leverage their story to something better for them? (that’s called seeing potential)If reading people is a teachable skill, I don’t want to learn it. Where I want to grow is improving my ability to see people exactly the way they want to be seen.Don’t spend time reading people.Spend time getting to know and love them.

To be an effective sight reader of music - to play music at sight and without preparation - you need to quickly analyze what’s in front of you. You need to understand what’s going on within the song, how one note moves to another, how what you do contributes to the next note - the function of things. Understanding life isn’t much different.To be a more effective you - understand the music that is your life. What are you trying to do? Who are you doing it for? Why is what you’re doing useful for them? How does what you are doing now connect to the next thing you’ll do? Do you have enough information - and are you gutsy enough - to take the next step?The skill I have is a sought after and specialized skill. I am by far not the best - there are many, many, many much better than I. What makes me effective is not an innate gift - there is no gift for sight reading well. What makes me effective is that I have failed - A LOT - and I continue to fail. But, with each failure I learn more and more.You have to practice.

Nothing natural is evil.The car that cut you off isn’t out to get you, the car is just a car.The obnoxious neighbors next door are just people doing their thing.People on the opposite side of your politics aren’t trying to take away your rob you of something, they are just humans participating in the same game our side plays.It is our perception of others and what happens around us that causes us to create, and pass, judgment.The car that cut me off? The car simply passed me, I perceived it as “cutting” me off.The obnoxious neighbor? The neighbors are loud, I characterize them as obnoxious.The other side trying to get their way and compromise my way of life? Am I trying to advocate for things that benefit me? And, am I considerate of others who may disagree in my advocacy?What I am describing is natural. It’s natural to perceive, characterize, and judge others, or the things that happen around us, as good, bad, or otherwise. But, the thing is, they aren’t good, bad, or otherwise. They, just, are.I am writing a bit more about perception and life because this time of year can be hard on many. There are expectations for what gatherings should be like, because they’ve always been like that, because one person wants it that way… and those expectations may not be met. That expectation miss causes many to spiral into a trap of judgment, argument, and depression. But, if they took a step back, and remember that “nothing natural is evil,” they could see things as they are.Like the song says, “Let it go.”

Ever have that drive to cut someone off in traffic because they cut you off? No, me neither.We people do petty things.Saying “fine, goodbye,” abruptly as a way to passively signal our negativity towards a conversation.Striving for the last word in while arguing with others.Sharing the gossip about someone before they apply for a job.Seeking to discredit the work of someone else because you’re upset they beat you.We all do it.The question I am starting to ask myself, “Did I get what I was hoping for by doing that?“More often than not, always, the answer is “no.”

Pro Tip:

Remember that’s it’s easier to see and handle life’s twists and turns if you let life get in front of you a bit.

Reacting to what’s coming at you is easier than always having to look behind you.

We made a promise to each other. We said, this is how we are going to show up for each other.We committed to our community. We knew who we wanted to help, and tried to understand their story.We decided what we do when we fail. Failing happens more than winning, so have a plan for how to make each failure a celebration.We agreed on what winning looked like. Is it winning the race? Or is it finishing the journey?We told each other that we’ll have each others back. We’re in it together.My team, a team that I love and care for, had our quarter long work validated. None of us have ever done the job we were asked to do, and our work was validated by people who know much more than we.Someone asked how it felt to present our work and see it validated?I said, “indifferent.” The person became curious and asked why. I replied, “What feels amazing is that our team of scrappy, creative, and eccentric people met 3 months ago and decided how, when, and that we were going to start on this journey; today someone told us that we took the right path.“If you can decide how you will start, you win.