Being in the woods alone tops playing music on the list of David’s Happy Places. There my thoughts quiet down, I breathe better, and I feel oneness with something bigger than me. Every week I write down that I will spend time in the woods that week. Every week it never happens.  I come from a long line of people who care about the quality of their work. Completed correctly, the first time, and without exception - that’s how they explained it to me.  That mindset makes me good at my jobs - I am a perfectionist.  That mindset makes me an anxious wreck at my jobs, too - I am a perfectionist. And,That mindset keeps me from doing the other work of self-care - because I am a…Caring too much about one thing takes you away from doing the other things that matter. Too much focus on a job that pays can mean too little effort on your health, mind, and spirit.  “But, David, I need to do a good job because I need the money,” says the perfectionist in me. “But what good is the money if you are living a life alone, unhappy, and unhealthy? Was it worth it?”

I sat preparing my music and checking my sounds. Jeff - the other kid - tuned his guitar. I would like to think we - newly minted teenagers - played at St. Jude the Apostle every Sunday because our faith called us. But it was the invitation to get to play music every week that kept us coming back.

Today - it’s Sunday for me - I am driving 2 hours north to play at a church. Sounds like a lot of work for a church gig. I woke up at 5 am, did my morning work, writing to you, and then I’ll prepare to go. I need to arrive by 8:30 am, rehearse, and play service. Then I’ll need to wait 4-5 hours before I can rehearse and play another service. I’ve never played the music before, I don’t know the musicians, and I’ve never attended the church.

Do you try to be as lazy as possible on the weekends? In the past, I’ve made that a habit. I exert tremendous energy into my work that the weekend is for zoning out. Today I approached the weekend like the bees - I worked.  First, I performed the morning rituals. Unloaded the dishwasher, made coffee - Turkish style with cardamom and cinnamon, and nearly finished a book. Now I am writing to you. And next, I’ll plan my day using my EVO planner and start to work.  That was and is work. It requires energy, effort, and a desire to create something important to me, and for someone else - you.  What other ways will I create work today?Buy milk from a farm. I buy raw milk to make yogurt.  Try out a new local farm stand style grocery store - I’m all about the farms today.Discover how a loaf of bread I made turned out. If you’re into bread baking, I purposely fermented this bread a bit longer to see how it would come out.  Discover what chicken brined in pickle juice tastes like. I fermented cucumbers a while back and reusing the juice.I am hoping to take a hike and discover something in the forest.  Discovery is work. I am experimenting, learning, failing, and doing it all again. It’s also fun. If today goes the way I hope it does, I’ll probably approach every day like the bees.

The garden at the back of my home produces tomatoes, pattypan squashes, cucumbers, tomatillos, kale, and wax beans. Though we started late, the garden became exceptionally productive. While I would like to say that my green thumb made this happen, I believe another actor deserves the credit.Almost as if they punch a clock, every morning early, fleets of bees work the garden. Busy collecting nectar, depositing pollen, and enjoying a symbiotic relationship. Their work enables the plant to create a fruit or legume, which becomes our food. They work every day for as long as they can until they can’t.Approaching life likes bees means getting up and doing the work you’re meant to do. That work might involve self-care, being generous with your time to help others, or producing something meaningful - work that matters. That work we do will produce fruit.   Self-care produces health and wellness.  Helping others creates effective relationships.  Doing works that matter builds self-efficacy.If the birds, bees, and flees can do it, so can we.

On Sunday, the Green Bay Packers will start their season off playing the Minnesota Vikings. While I love the Packers, I happily associate with Vikings fans. Chicago Bears fans? Maybe.Have you noticed that we have become increasingly more aware of the teams we are on?  Packers versus the Vikings. Democrats versus Republicans. Black Lives Matter versus All Lives Matter? Does it end? If so, where?Humans need two things to survive - to seek safety and avoid threats. Being communal animals, we find safety with others who believe the way we do - our tribe. But when you compound job loss, isolation, and depression with repetitive divisive rhetoric on a 24-hour news cycle, it’s easy to feel we need something solid. Unfortunately, that solid ground comes in the form of the loudest voice that resonates with us. Unfortunately, the loudest voices tend to be the ones that divide.Unlike sports, our tribes aren’t better than the others - they’re different. Republicans are different than Democrats in how they think about governance. Does that make one right and the other wrong? Maybe. Does that make one good and the other bad? I don’t know.  I know that to create a culture where people come together to do great things requires each of us to tolerate the other. Tolerate means to accept another as different and be okay with it. Tolerate means that we can still work together and find what’s in common.  We all have something in common. We hope, breathe, and live our stories. And our stories are beautiful and complicated - at the same time.  There’s a tribe that many of us don’t go to explore often enough. That tribe is full of people who enjoy breathing, learning, and growing. They also enjoy serving others. Perhaps you know people like this.

There is a point when you’ve over-explained your point.  You’ve said more than what needed to be said.You’ve justified, advocated, and defended enough.What is the over-explanation for? Who is it for? The over-explanation is for you - the communicator. And it is for self-assurance. That you said what needed to be said, covered the point from every angle, and for self-justification.  I’m trying to find the simplest and most direct way to communicate. And I am trying to be “okay” that you’ll make of it what you will.  The art is not the words. It’s the response.

I wish I learned how to ask more questions and be wrong more often. I wish I learned less about how to study for an exam.

I wish I learned how to find opportunities to do more projects. I wish I learned less about how to be compliant.

I wish I learned more about my relationship with God and my faith.I wish I learned less about religion.

I wish I read more books. I wish I read fewer textbooks.

I do not like vacations. The idea of leaving my work stresses me out. Driving a long distance, spending money, and being away from my bed are reasons I dislike vacations.  I just got back from a vacation - 5 days away. I didn’t end up spending that much money, traveling long distances, and I wasn’t away from my bed for that long. What I will say is that the vacation taught me something I needed to re-learn: step out to get perspective.The act of being away from home, work, my books, and this blog allowed me to re-think my capabilities.  What could I do with this upcoming month?  What could I write?How could I serve people better?I had an opportunity to recharge.Time outside hiking.Looking at and traveling to new places.Trying new food.Now I am here writing to you with thousands of ideas. Thinking what will come first, second, and so-on. Consider a vacation.

A book communicates a passionate writer’s idea to an audience. It’s the stage upon which a performance takes place. The magic isn’t in words. The magic is in your head - when the words transform into something more. What are you reading?

Did you ever play in large moving boxes and wonder if they were spaceships? Forts? Igloos?  I feel like I never stopped being a kid. I dream big. I never stop.  Recently I spoke with someone interested in learning more about my experience as a diversity recruiter. They were curious about how to network and recruit black, brown, indigenous - I prefer “First Nations,” and LGBTQIA+ people. I have a problem with this type of thinking - it’s not a box I want to play in.  People are more than their ethnicity.People are more than their sexual identities.People are more than their preferred pronouns or gender identities.  People are more than their veteran status.People are just what they are - and nothing more.  How do I network with these people? I don’t.  I seek out people who believe there’s got to be something more - doers! If they happen to be brown - fine. But I find that people like us attract others who do what we do.  If you see people for more than what they look like, you will attract people who want to be seen that way.  The box is the problem because we, as a culture, have a hard time looking beyond the box.  “Well we have systemic racial inequality, it’s important to hire black people.”  I’m with you. I agree. But that’s not the reason to hire someone who is black. That’s the reason to go out and find someone who wants to do something worth something for someone else and who happens to be black.  I don’t want to be limited by how others see race, identity, or the boxes we check on job applications.I want to live life in the box that is a spaceship, a fort, or a life where we see people as they are, as they want to show up, and we let them know - “Hey, I see you.”  The box is the problem. And it’s a problem because we refuse to see everything it really is, ever was, and could become.