It’s a bad idea. Don’t do it. Why? Because you don’t know what others need. What if you’re wrong?What if the person burns out?What if this wasn’t the job meant for this person?The list goes on. Today, I didn’t write a letter of recommendation, I wrote a letter of ability. A letter that described the work someone did, the things that motivated them, and how they were courageous in the face of change. I don’t think others want a recommendation, they want to come to their own conclusions. But they would like to know what was it like to be this person’s boss? What made this person come alive? What did you see this person wanting to do more of? To answer those questions for anyone, you need to first see the people you lead for who they are and could become. Many thanks to Chris for today’s inspiration.
Yesterday I played a gig (watch the last two songs here). It was outdoors, physically distanced, yet socially together. Was it fun? Absolutely! I was privileged to have this experience and share it with others.
I consider myself privileged because I do not have the right to play music and get paid for it - especially with many venues closing their doors.
To do what you love, and get paid to do it, is indeed a privilege. I do not feel shame for this privilege. Instead, I use it to give others something they came to experience, my soul.
The hard part of being “stuck” in-between a rock and a hard place is the perception that you can’t move. I submit you can move. You can give way to the rock or the hard place. You might not want to give in, and that’s the problem.Our internal control freak hates it when reality differs from what we expect it to be. It activates the Resistant You, and you’ll start hemming and hawing, trying to negotiate your way out of the circumstance. But, the problem is - you’re stuck. “Unstuck” yourself and move by giving way to the rock or the hard place. Then, be willing to be fascinated, learn, adapt, and find a way to make something beautiful from a sucky situation.
These are 5 short-short insights. What do they have in common?
Medieval Europeans did not suffer lousy music, so much so that they forced bad musicians to walk around town wearing and playing the “shame flute.”
In 1872, Charles Darwin penned his third book, “The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals.” In it, he writes an interesting passage:
“We turn away the whole body, more especially the face, which we endeavor in some manner to hide. An ashamed person can hardly endure to meet the gaze of those present, so that he almost invariably casts down his eyes or looks askant.”
I’m thinking of creating a frozen custard stand in a foreign country.Talk about random thoughts, right?I may not ever do it, but I wanted to explore the thought. I also thought I might share the thought with you. Here’s my thinking:Not many people outside my state know about frozen custard. When I lived in Miami, I had to drive almost more than an hour away to get some!“What is Frozen Custard for?” I think it’s for community connection, and communities are for support. The frozen custard stand is a living legend - generations upon generations still enjoy their custard.Something this unique with beautiful associated nostalgia is a compelling product.Perhaps this frozen custard stand would be built in a country that places a strong emphasis on community culture, similar to the small community where I grew up? Maybe we’d find we have more in common than not? Maybe that would inspire generations upon generations of people to create new traditions? On the contrary, maybe it would spur a culture of overfed and obese citizens? Anti-United States imperialist rhetoric? Truthfully, I might not ever make a frozen custard stand. But, I can create a culture where people share intentions and ideas that might be random, off-the-wall, thought-provoking, or downright crazy. Hopefully, sharing these ideas will beget the creation of more ideas.When we share and listen to more ideas, we step into a posture of possibility and creating culture.Also, Learn what Ulysses and frozen custard have in common.By the way, if you’re from the Milwaukee area, I don’t care what you say, and I’ll debate you to the cows come home, Gilles is the best. Hands down and without question.Also, I am aware that the photo might look more like “ice cream,” which I know is different than custard! I humbly request you to suspend your judgment and embrace the spirit of the photo.
“If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death, human life cannot be complete.” - Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning"Way to start the post on a positive note, right? Quite honestly, yes. A while ago, when I first started this blog, I wrote a post on Legacy. After doing more reading, I wanted to re-share some of my thoughts but with a refined lens.Is the work we’re doing, so important, so valuable, and so needed by the people we serve that they’ll miss it when we’re gone?As you think about the question, try not to think about it from a surface level, “well, of course, someone will miss me when I leave for another company.“Think about this question from the position of your mortality.The genesis of this blog started from a rethinking of my mortality. Additionally, I believe there’s a kind of hope that ignites when we think about the mark we leave on the world.That hope is magnified when the mark we leave is needed. So, think about the question I proposed. Think about what you’re doing now - parenting, learning, creating, performing, or any work that matters to you. Will people miss the work you do after you’re gone?How can you make what you’re doing last beyond you?
We’re quick to name things.
- We’re quick to understand what something does.
- We’re quick to understand how it does it.
- We’re quick to understand when it does what it does.
- We’re quick to understand who does it.
- We’re quick to understand where it is. And,
- We’re quick to try and understand why it’s in our life.
But, and here’s the big but, we’re slow to understand, if ever, what it’s for.
The window is open this morning. It’s 8:06, and the room is filled with the sounds of keyboards typing and birds chirping with one another.
Imagine if we only ever heard one type of bird sound?
That when we walked outside and listened for the birds, you only ever heard one type of sound - “tweet tweet tweet tweet.”
Ravel, a composer, understood the beauty of bird calls. In Act II of “Daphnis and Chloë,” you can hear the sounds of piccolos and three violins mimicking birds’ sounds atop a bed of lush chords.
I see a framework as a structure of support. A paradigm is a framework.A system is a framework.As is a relationship.Like any structure, frameworks can change.Kids misbehaving at a gathering?The framework that a parent operates by might suggest a form of discipline (negative reinforcement) is appropriate. What about, “We were invited here because our friends felt we were the kinds of people that showed respect, care, and love to others. They talked about how much they enjoyed spending time with us and how much their kids loved you. What else did you come here to offer our friends?” Your kids might answer, “respect, fun, and friendliness.” Then you could answer, “does running around their house, which caused this item to break represent the gift we wanted to give our friends?“I’m not a parent, and I’m not offering parenting advice (I’ve learned not to do that from my sister, who is a parent). But, I am offering a way to adjust the framework of “discipline.“What other frameworks, or structures of support, exist in our lives?How we do our work.How we show up for others.How we lead.How we follow.Adopting a posture of possibility means adjusting the frameworks that support how and what you do. If you’re stuck in the slog we’re in, and can’t find a way out, rethink how you’re thinking about it. Perhaps there’s an opportunity in areas you never thought possible? At the end of the day, what’s built can easily be changed.You just need to have the guts to do it.
Can you remember a time when someone ignited your passions? Perhaps it was a trolling post on Facebook?Maybe it was an inspirational speech?Seeing your friend survive cancer?In some way, these stories inspire us - their gifts. They disrupt our expectations in some way, and from that, they give us the gift of possibility. Consider the trolling post on Facebook.Let’s say you see a friend post about a moment that’s happening now. A friend comments on how your friend is blind to what’s going on - they’re naive and stupid. Now you’re upset, and you’ll do what you can to prove the commenting friend wrong. The gift is a disrespectful comment on Facebook.The disruption is an expectation go awry. You expect people to treat each other with respect, and your friend was not.Within you, a passion for avenging the unfair treatment of your friend erupts.You give way to passion and enroll in the journey of proving your friend wrong and showing them a better way to comment.Enrollment is a commitment that occurs when passion inspires action. And, when we enroll, we’ll remain committed to the very end.Once you’ve adopted a posture of possibility, you’ll need to enroll in the journey. That’s what makes possibility a reality.