Have you hit your head against the wall because your actions aren’t getting the results you’ve wanted? Go a step further, when you’ve failed to be effective, do you first blame yourself and your skill? Or do you blame that which you’re trying to change? The situation? Bad luck? Other people? The Weather? That which influences your ability to do anything but is outside of your control is “luck.” Luck has nothing to do with skill. When you win or fail, before sulking or celebrating, first reflect on the skills you brought to bear and ask yourself, “How could I do it better?“Don’t blame luck, others, or situations for that which you can easily control. Doing so will only lead to more failure. Instead, reflect. Seek out where you went wrong, ask others for feedback, allow yourself to be vulnerable, and improve. Your abilities to continuously learn from wins and losses, to seek out new knowledge, and to practice and apply new skills enables your ability to come alive.

Life is not chess. There are no absolutes. I use this example often - if life were chess and you jaywalked across the street, you’d always get hit by a car. But life is not chess. Life is full of probability. Before crossing the street, jaywalking, you notice that there are no cars in the distance on either side of you, it is probable you’ll safely jaywalk across the street. On the contrary, if there appears to be a lot of fast traffic in both directions, the probability of a safe cross is less. Depending on what you choose to do, you may be safe, or you may not. However, in either case, it was the process of making the decision that informed your choice. Think of decisions and opinions like jaywalking. When you assert your beliefs about someone or something, consider the risk of being wrong. Here’s an example.“Given the piece’s style, the composer’s intent, and my skill, if I execute my work in ‘XYZ’ manner, I’ll have a 70% probability of being successful.” Is it possible you’d mess it up? Absolutely! 30% to be exact. However, does that mean the decision was wrong? No. “Given that the audience appears to want to dance, and I have lots of upbeat music to perform, I’ll have a 90% probability of making my audience happy.” Uh oh, your audience is worn-out, and they’d rather hear a slow song. Your decision-making process led you to a choice that worked; however, there were facts not in your field of view - the audience was ready for something quiet. Give yourself some grace. Think in probability. Give yourself a margin.There will always be facts that you don’t see; that’s okay. Focus on what’s in front of you.Execute.

Yesterday I shared the importance of challenging one’s self. To do so creates clarity and shapes your beliefs. You’ll recall “beliefs” or “world views” govern our decisions. We may, or may not, accept or reject evidence to support our beliefs. When we find ourselves doubting our choices, it’s a good time to check-in.   As promised, today, I’m sharing questions you can use to develop your thoughts and make better decisions.   How do I know what I believe?Where did I get the information that supports my belief?From whom did I receive the information?What is the quality of my sources?How much do I trust them?How up-to-date is my information?How much information do I have that relates to my belief?What other things like this have I been confident about that turned out not to be true?What are the other plausible alternatives?What do I know about the person challenging my belief?What is their view of how credible my opinion is?What do they know that I don’t know?What is their level of expertise?What am I missing?Use these questions when you find yourself at a standstill. Here are some examples of people that might feel stuck.  To those musicians in grad school and deciding if they made the right decision: “Getting a master’s degree is the best way for me to secure a secure future as a musician.”  To those musicians on a cruise ship and deciding that a move back to land is a better idea: “Moving back to land-based work is the surest way to get my music out to the masses.”  To those people looking to sell more of their product: “Connecting with as many people as possible will get me the social media reach I need to get ahead.”  Challenge yourself regularly. Don’t shy away from what you might uncover. You formed your belief system over time as a way to keep you safe. However, as the world and your life change - your beliefs may need to be reshaped as well.

When I recruited musical talent, I would work with agents. They, the agents, would pitch artists to me, I’d review their skill, and sometimes I’d clear them to move forward or would decline. Sometimes, the agents would push back on my decision to decline an artist. To say I experience a rush from people pushing back on my ideas, at least back then, would be an understatement. I thrived on the debate. When pressed, I would often ask an agent if they “would be willing to bet their business with me on this candidate?” Can you imagine the level of doubt that creates in the mind of the agent? Putting myself in their position, I don’t know if I’d know how to answer. Too often, I believe agents said “yes” to get their person in-the-door; however, a few times, I think they cared about the artist. Nonetheless, it’s quite a bet and one that makes you rethink your positions. I am willing to bet that life challenges you to rethink your beliefs more often than not. I’ll go so far as to say you live in doubt about your life choices most of the time. Perhaps you enjoy this blog because you seek some clarity? To question one’s self is to seek clarity. Seeking clarity helps you define the path forward. Tomorrow, I’ll share some questions you can ask yourself to help reshape your beliefs, challenge yourself, and decide if you’re willing to bet your life on a decision.

Your beliefs, how you see the world, rule the choices you make. No matter what facts I might present to you if your views do not accept my points, you will likely dismiss my point-of-view. Don’t believe me?  Look at today’s politics. Within the United States, some love President Trump and those that despise him. There are allegations that President Trump engaged in possibly illegal activity, and there are allegations that he’s a victim of circumstance. Whatever point of view you take, you will likely believe one version of the story more than another in spite of any facts.  Our beliefs rule our choices because they help us shape our world. The world view we hold to be sacred is safe. This safety enables us to find others like us, do things that we believe people like us do and find our happiness. Our “safety” also informs how we make decisions.  When confronted with two equally suitable paths, you’ll choose the one that most aligns with who you believe yourself to be. This process may seem complicated - especially when both options are good. Do yourself the favor of going with your gut - it’s right. Your audience is no different.  When confronted with several options, they will choose the groups most aligned with who they believe themselves to be. How do you improve the odds someone will pick you?  You amplify yourself. Take who you are, what you believe, the message of your music, and shine a big light on it. Don’t hide. Let people know this is “who” you are, “why” you matter, and that you are someone like them. The ones you serve will find you.

Daily, we make decisions to do or not do an activity based on the probability that our choice will lead to a “something better.” In making decisions, we examine our future possibles a hundred different ways. In each outcome, we see ourselves. Are we happy? Are we successful? Does this future help us achieve what we need? Yes or no? In seeing the options, we then weigh which future is best. The best decision wins; we act. Every choice we make is a bet against ourselves. We are staking one version of our future selves against another; then, we make a choice made by the consideration of probabilities - are we better off or not? Your customers make bets. The choice to come and see you perform is a bet. We are staking the future self that enjoys experiencing live music against the one that is spending time doing something else; then, we make a choice. Is the version of ourselves that enjoys experiencing live music coming more “alive” than the version that would instead meet their friends for coffee? We can’t answer that question for people. But we can show them that their decision to experience live music will create an intoxicating feeling they wouldn’t want to miss. We make that plea through our invitation - see writings on gathering the tribe. For you, when it comes to deciding what to do or not do with your life, realize that you’re only betting against one of several future versions of you. Don’t overthink. Choose the path that makes you most come alive.

Do you often think of life as a game of strategy? Do you find yourself organizing the people and events in your life as if they’re pieces on a chessboard? Read lots of books outlining a specific path to achieve success? After a first date, do you wait 48 hours to message? If you say the right things to your boss, will you get promoted? Coming from the cruise ship world, I often heard people say, “the company doesn’t like it when you are honest, so always say how much you love what you do, and you’ll get ahead.” Really? One time a musician told me that their music director said to them, “David only wants to see you smile and dance, he doesn’t care for the music.” Really? Folks, life is not a chess game. It’s not a game with defined rules. If you say the right things, it doesn’t mean you will have the outcome you expect. If you smile and dance while you’re performing music, it doesn’t mean you’re going to receive a raise. All it means is that you don’t know me; instead, you only know how to “play me.” Except, I’m not a chessboard. If life were a chessboard, every time we’d jaywalk, we’d get hit by a car. I grew up jaywalking on my way to school; as I sit here, I can attest that a vehicle has never hit me. I believe that carefully watching oncoming traffic, and timing my cross with that traffic, I have a high probability of making it safely across the street and saving time. If anything, life is more like poker. I’m starting a series on indecision. The series derives its inspiration from the work of Annie Duke and her book, “Thinking in Bets: Making Smarter Decisions When You Don’t Have All the Facts.” I think we can all benefit from making smarter decisions.

As Priya Parker well illustrates in her book, “The Art of Gathering: How We Gather and Why it Matters,” there’s an art to how we meet.  This entry concludes a series of articles inspired by her work. I highly recommend taking a read for yourself; perhaps you’ll find different inspirations?To recap, to better gather your tribe and inspire them to do the “something better,” you’ll need to:Identify the chosen ones;Exclude those that don’t belong;Pick an appropriate size;Serve your audience;Equalize everyone;Protect the event;Encourage connection;Create other worlds;Assert your mission;Perfect the invite;Encourage conflict;Give a gift; andEmbrace the end.If you feel these ideas helped you, share them with others. We’re only as strong as the community we build. Help me make a stronger one!

All good things come to an end. Eventually, your gig will conclude. Another artist will take the stage, the gallery will close, the interview’s over, or it’s closing time — however, the feeling you impart within us last forever. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya AngelouIn theater, we refer to the song that comes late in the show, which brings everything together as the “Eleven O’Clock Number.” As a commercial musician, the last song is the one we want people running out the door singing as they leave the banquet hall. “The End” is the combination of the “Eleven o’clock number” and the closing song. Between the two, is our opportunity to share our mission and the call to action. It’s not our opportunity to thank those who had us out to play, how to settle a bar tab, the location of the after-party, or similar logistics - save that for earlier. Remember, do not start a gig with logistics and don’t end with logistics. Start and end with “mission” and “legacy.” The “mission” is your “why” for being here; the “legacy” is what you hope people will do once they leave. Combining “mission” and “legacy” will inspire your audience to pick up your torch and carry on.If you’ve done your job right, people will forget the song lyrics, they’ll forget where they saw you, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel. Embrace the end.

“No true gift is free of risk.” - Ida Benedetto Happy Thanksgiving to those celebrating the US holiday of Thanksgiving! To everybody else, happy November 28, 2019. Are you one of the billion people told that every day is a gift? We should be thankful for today because there’s no guarantee of tomorrow? That we should learn to practice more gratitude? If you are like most people I know, indeed like I am every day, you see in yourself great potential. You see a you that’s waiting to come alive. But you also might not see the means to make it happen. Maybe you don’t have the money, the right network, the right degree, you came from the wrong side of town, people remind you that reality is so much different than your dreams, and you barely see a way out. There are thousands upon thousands of reasons why you are not everything you could be, and it’s hard to give thanks when life doesn’t give you much to go on. The one thing you do have is an existence. A risk is a threat to destabilize your existence, the way things are now. As earlier mentioned, you have several reasons why you are not coming alive at this moment; your life doesn’t allow for it. A gift is an act that fulfills a need. To give a gift is to disrupt one’s life to show them something better. To receive a gift requires the recipient to allow themselves to be vulnerable enough to have their being “disrupted” for something better. As an artist, you give gifts to your audience. You let them know they’re not alone, you offer a new way to think, you highlight the hardships or successes of others, and you help us become alive through your work. Your gift requires us to destabilize our lives for a moment and allow your work to come in and show us something better. Never lose sight of what you do, how you do it, and how it impacts people. I’m thankful for you and the gifts you share with others to help them see the “something better.”