Leaders ought to be more honest. And, as hard as it is to say, we ought to say “I don’t trust you” to the people on our team we don’t trust. Where do you go from there? You show a path to trust.“I don’t trust you. What I am not seeing consistently, and we’ve talked about this, is ____ (behavior) which lead to ____ (outcomes). I don’t see consistency from you, and therefore can’t trust you’ll deliver. If I can’t trust you, then I can’t give our leaders confidence and certainty as it relates to the health of the business. Can I and the team count on you to _______ by _____?” It’s a hard message to hear, but it’s the truth. We need more truth.
Questions to ask before performance review time:How might we discover more of the best of you next quarter?How would you rate the quality and quantity of my engagement in your work? Where do I, your leader, need to focus my efforts more? What percentage of your work this quarter tied to your most important goals? How might you flag unimportant work when it creeps in?Someone told me the questions helped and were appreciated. Try ‘em out.
Sam Rockwell’s character in “Argylle” gives this brilliant line: “you’re always looking up at the cliff that you forget what’s 3 feet in front of you.”How many times have we heard that message?As much as we spend time focusing on the future or the past; they don’t exist yet. What exists is what we can perceive right now. Work right now.
- Thoughtfully making a decision followed by thoughtful reflection.
- Listening to people who did step 1.
I’m watching “American Fiction” and can’t stop laughing at the satirical portrayal of American society. In some ways, I love the deliciously contrarian nature of the writers. On other ways, I love the family and value-driven storyline. I don’t want to get into reviewing movies. But I want to highlight how much I love that our culture is becoming more open to taking itself less seriously.
I’m fasting at the moment. Currently I’ve fasted for 5 full days. Here’s what I find interesting:I’m hardly hungry. I’ve got lots of energy. I’m productive. My output and focus this week is greater than last 30 days. I feel less anxious. I’ve fasted for extended periods of time before. 5 days is the longest. I will likely keep going. An interesting experience. I’ll do it again.
I think part of not overextending yourself is figuring out when you’ve fought the good fight.At this point, that fight is fought and it’s time to for rest.See you tomorrow.
Two team members recently started at my firm. They are going to be strong Customer Success Managers, and I’m looking forward to working for them one day. They come to me with lots of questions.Today I responded to questions a bit differently. I said, “Try to figure it out… where do things start to fall apart? What problems do you find you need to solve first in order to address your question to me?” I find the saying “don’t come to me with problems, come to me with solutions” problematic. If I’m an employee and always had a solution, what’s the benefit of my leader? I think I’m starting to prefer “come to me with the problems about your problems.”
I had some pain recently. Nothing crazy, don’t get worried. As I dealt with it I told myself I have three options: Tough it out and be macho.Cry about it. Embrace it. See it as a friction for something better.I chose option 3, and it was a great choice. Keeping the thought “eventually, it will all be over” was a remarkably calming tonic. I even focused on the pain and tried to imagine what might be causing it. I looked for words to describe it — that was fun. In a way, I danced with it. Perspective.
I usually take an emotional drain at this time of the year. This year, I feel a sense of “I’ve got this.” What’s changed? I think the answer is simple. I got out ahead of it, and took time off.Looking at life in the aggregate gives you the opportunity to see patterns. Once you see them, you can do something about it.