I had two tough feedback conversations today. The contents and the reason for the feedback don’t matter. I think what might interest you is how I processed what I intended to say without hurting the other person’s feelings. Here’s the process.I do not factor the other person’s feelings. Trying to factor in someone’s anticipated emotional state as a result of a stimulus is like predicting the weather in a distant city based on today’s wind direction in my backyard. I inventory my emotions for the very same reason as point 1. I consider my intention and the outcome. My intention is to improve the relationship through honest and transparent communication. If I share what I need to share, then me and the other person get to find common ground and grow together — win win. I consider execution. I edit and re-edit my idea until there’s nothing left but exactly what I mean to say. I ask myself if I’m speaking the truth.I consider the humanity of the other person. They have complicated lives, they are probably doing the best they can, and they likely don’t want to hurt people. They value honesty because they told me they do.I deliver my feedback.They both ended with laughter and a genuine “I love you and happy you’re in my life.”

The top posts, measured by engagement, from 2023.Benefits of a Decision JournalAre You Getting What You Want?Rethinking interviews.Did we get what we hoped for?You don’t need to operate on hard modeI’m not quite sure how many posts I’ve written; but the journey is fun. I hope you are continuing to receive value too. I’m looking forward to 2024.

I watched Aliens and Prometheus last night. My takeaways:The humans in both stories valued the opportunity to discover a way to extend or destroy life over the value of their own lives. The majority of judgments made smacked of noisy decision making processes.The androids in both movies demonstrates a pragmatism that is both scary and heart-warming. Decision making appeared less noisy though more cut-throat.I think about today — you and I right now. How many times per day do we ponder the question, If I just push a little more I’ll get my answer? By itself, that’s a great question if we are also considering the second and third order effects of our work. How might we become more compassionately pragmatic? Bishop, the android in Aliens, presents compassion and pragmatism in a nice balance. I’m told his role in future movies is quite the opposite.

Inspired by a conversation with Brian. I wrote:1. People act in their own self-interest (debate’able, but I think nature would show us we prefer to survive vs die)2. Our view of our environment is shaped by our senses be they physical (smell, taste, etc.) or intuitive (story telling, maybe meta-physical?)3. We’re wired to organize ourselves socially and distinguish ourselves in our social systems so that we can navigate them – stories, propaganda, “strong man” kind of stuff, our positions (or our lacking the backbone to take one)4. We are capable of doing horrible things to each other in the name of our self-interest; but we’re not alone. Baboons and Chimps are no different. And… 5. We’d much rather act like jerks than understand and improve upon our nature. Obviously, it’s all up for debate. I, myself, remain skeptical about these ideas. However, I think they’re a place to start future explorations.

Jakob von Uexküll believes the way you see the world is different from the way I see the world. Jakob believes your world is shaped by what you can perceive via your senses.The more you can perceive, the more able you are to navigate your environment. How much more effective could you be if you only stopped to notice more? HT to Seth Godin for the inspiration — finding a more useful umwelt.

I spoke with a friend about happenings in the world. My friend expressed his opinion and his judgments. He asked me mine. “I’ll wait for the made for TV documentary to come out,” I replied. I admit, I find many things happening in our world fascinating and curious. As dramatic as life can be, I enjoy looking for what others might have missed — seeing the other side of the story. Through it all I keep reminding myself that we’ll never truly know what happened, or didn’t, until many years into the future. My sanity and my clearer thinking appreciates my patience.

Consider this: every decision comes with a tradeoff that constant, great, or small. Now, imagine there is something about your life you want to change — visualize the end state. You already know that to get from where you are now to your end state you’ll need to make tradeoffs. Changes comes at a cost. You must give to get.Sometimes, the first step towards your goal can be a small step. The second step isn’t so bad either. As you approach step 3, 4, and on you notice the cost becomes greater. It’s snowballing you into your new and beautiful end state. Sometimes, the first step is quite dramatic. The second step is large too, but not as much as step 1. Steps 3, 4, and onwards become easier. A dramatic start and a whimpering end. You rarely see scenarios where the distance between each step is consistent and measured. When it comes to improving ourselves and our conditions, we can’t expect nature to offer us constant and measured steps. Nature loves a good show. HT to Khan Academy for the useful knowledge.

Think of the thing you’ve done a thousand times and you could likely do in your sleep. People might call you at an expert at that thing. You might be well regarded for your ability to execute that thing. You may even make bets at your ability to do that thing consistently well over and over again.Nonetheless, your ability to execute is a probability; not a guarantee. The gig that is your art and that is life is a lottery.

Perhaps it’s because quitters never start.Starters quit though. You could argue that strategic quitting is a “Starter’s” best skill.

Good post from Sam Altman.