When people think of Filipino food they frequently think of “adobo.” Adobo is not just one thing, it’s many. At it’s core, it’s anything marinated in an acid. On the other side of the world, in Central America, you’ll find similar dishes. I know a Costa Rican dish called “Chicharrones” that is pork marinated in sour orange juice and then cooked. Nearly identical to Filipino adobo.Cubans eat a pork dish called “masa de puerco” - deep fried pork shoulder that’s been… you guessed it, marinated in an acid. Did the Spanish bring adobo to the Philippines? Some historians contend that the Filipinos have been marinating meat in acid long before the Spanish arrived. That’s the point.You and I, and the others, are more in similar than we are not.

The people in your life deal in a currency of credibility. Do you know it?One person values your responsiveness, another values your attention, and someone else wants to see you in the trenches with them. No one person is the same.If you want to lead others, quickly learn and deal in their currency of credibility.

3 quotes.Robert Greene from The Laws of Human Nature, “the longer a group exists and the larger it grows, the more conservative it will become.”Thucydides, one of the first historians, writes in the History of the Peloponnesian War, “What made war inevitable was the growth of Athenian power and the fear which this caused in Sparta.” John M. Barry, a more recent historian, writes in The Great Influenza, “Uncertainty follows distrust, fear follow uncertainty, and, under conditions such as these, terror follows fear.”1 HypothesisThe more defined a culture a group has, the more it will fear the unknown and disruptive nature of a competing a rising culture.1 QuestionWhat if we just learned to stay more nimble?

I think we avoid confrontation because we fear connection. When a relationship requires a confronting of truths a bubble is formed. In that bubble, the parties in the relationship have the opportunity to confront or retreat. But, if one person decides to confront and the other retreats, the relationship stays in a stalemate. The bubble remains, and it gets bigger with time. If both parties confront the truths of the situation, the bubble eases and goes away. People you and I know avoid confrontation. They let the bubble form, persist, and eventually, burst. Better to confront, release tension, and create space for connection.It is an act of love to persevere through the discomfort of confrontation to find common ground.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “the years teach much which the days never know.”People I, and likely you, know are all about winning their day or week. Sometimes, they are about winning their month. In sales or customer success, they are all about winning the quarter. Rarely do I meet people who are about winning the year. It’s a blessing to find someone who wants to win the decade.What do you want your next decade to be about? 10 years from now, what do you want your life to be about? And, what are you doing now to make that happen?The tortoise eventually beats the hare.

My dad would attend jazz concerts. Dad is not a musician. After shows I would ask, “Dad, what did you think of my show?” Dad would respond, “It was… ehhh… chromatic.” Dad has no idea what that means. Also, I didn’t really want Dad’s opinion. I wanted him to tell me, “you did great.”

When people ask you for your opinion about their work, don’t give it unless you know the person well. The person asking for your opinion likely sees their work as an extension of their character - their identity. If you have a low opinion of that person’s work, that person will believe you have a low opinion of their character.

I hear too often, “this person made me upset.” When I hear that I think, Did they make you?I don’t believe that people make us feel anything. If they did, what would that say about self control? Instead, I believe that our feelings are in response to what we observe in the world. Perhaps our feelings are meant to draw us towards or away from something? Perhaps that’s why our feelings often lead to stories.Have you noticed that when you feel negatively about someone you tend to tell yourself a story about them? It’s possible you let those stories stew in your mind. And like a stew, your story becomes more concentrated the longer it sits and simmers. If only we could allow our emotions to be more like a stir fry.

I never liked the phrase, “throw the baby out with the bath water.” I also find myself allergic to that type of reaction. Beware of overcorrection. When teams have bad actors, address the bad actors. When you mess up, address what can be improved and improve it.

If you want your message to stick, then you need to be a broken record.Repeat, repeat, repeat. At least 15 times. Until your listeners roll their eyes.Messages that stick, win.

What is complaining for? Who is it for?No matter how I slice it, complaining feels like a way to say, “I’m not feeling seen, and I want to feel seen, and this is a way for me to force you to see me… because you are sympathetic and will have pity on me.” But what if I’m wrong? What if it’s something more?Complaining could be our way to signal that we need help. It requires us to be vulnerable. If that’s true, how do we complain better?Perhaps we need to complain through a question. Instead of saying, “here’s what’s wrong with my world” what if we asked, “Here’s what I’m trying to accomplish, here’s what I’m trying to do, what am I missing?”Those of us likely prefer to help you reach your goal than listen to you moan. Perhaps.