In Book 6 of Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, Marcus writes:All of us are working on the same project. Some consciously, with understanding; some without knowing it. Some of us work in one way, and some in others. And those who complain and try to obstruct and thwart things - they help as much as anyone. The world needs them as well. So make up your mind who you’ll choose to work with. The force that directs all things will make good use of you regardless - will put you on its payroll and set you to work.”Whats’ the project we’re working on together? What’s the thing that all of our collective energies are poured into? Service.If you are in any type of occupation - including rearing little humans - you are serving another. The return on your service can be money, hugs, kisses, friendship, family, career development, you name it! Some times we see the ROI today. Some times the ROI comes years in the future. We are all doing our best to serve someone else. And if we complain, it just means that we are frustrated because we can’t serve as well as we want. As Marcus suggests, you get to choose who you serve and what problems you solve for them. You get to choose.

I learned this lesson a year ago, and I’m giving it a re-think.What did I miss last year? What wasn’t in my field of view then but now I see?The benefit and curse of hindsight is that we see with 20/20 vision. And, if our hindsight might shape our intuition, then we should better rely on our intuition. That said, intuition is not a fleeting choice or a knee jerk reaction.

I still have Meditations on my desk - it’s centering for me. I opened to a random page and read this passage which you’ve likely seen written by me multiple times.In a sense, people are our proper occupation. Our job is to do them good and put up with them. But when they obstruct our proper tasks, they become irrelevant to us - like sun, wind, animals. Our actions may be impeded by them, but there can be no impeding our intentions or our dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacles to our action.The impediment to action advances action.What stands in the way becomes the way.- Meditations, Marcus Aurelius, Book 5, #20.You likely have read the “impediment to action advances action, w hat stands in the way becomes the way” quote multiple times from multiple sources; it’s a popular Stoic quote. After re-reading Marcus’ entry, I think we are missing a key part of the idea.We can adapt and accommodate. We can = have the ability, have the option, have the skill, capable of executing.You have the ability to choose to adapt and accommodate to what impedes your action. You can also get frustrated and decide to give up. But, when we give up, all that we’re doing is denying ourselves the opportunity to do good for others. When you next hit that brick wall, or when life throws you lemons, or when your job is on the line - accommodate and adapt. See the beauty in that new constraint. Don’t let anything get in the way of you serving others.

I felt like pulling out Meditations tonight because it felt right. I opened up to this quote: “And why should we feel anger at the world? As if the world would notice!”How special must we think we are that we believe our feelings matter to more than just ourselves. They don’t. And really, they probably shouldn’t. Hear me out.The feelings you and I have are ours; nobody else but us can feel them. Others can interpret how we might feel, but that’s not the same as having knowledge of exactly what we feel. It might be our feelings and our interpretation of the world that causes us to act. It’s possible that we we are not motivated to act because we have knowledge of exactly how someone feels. Our feelings shape our interpretation of the world - our story. Others steal our stories when they tell us they “understand what we’re going through.” How can they when they are not us?Our feelings only matter to ourselves. That said…When we see someone in pain or frustrated because they could not create their intended outcomes, we can help. We can see ourselves as one that serves others helping them to make a better life. When we see that story for ourselves we are motivated to help. When we help others create the outcomes they want, we are rewarded with an intense feeling of accomplishment and goodness. That said, the person we helped does not truly care about our feeling of accomplishment, that feeling only matters to us.

Legendary, infamous perhaps, Hoosier’s basketball coach, Bob Knight: “Improvement, especially toward perfection, comes only if the practice is demanding, well thought-out, and constructive, by a coach who realizes that absolute perfection is unattainable - but is always the objective."“ Read more in Coach Knight’s book, The Power of Negative Thinking.I experienced the greatest coaching from the most negative people - my music teachers. In lessons, my teachers stopped me to correct hand position, interpretation, or would show me ways to practice. They said, “No, don’t do that, you’ll get this result… Instead, try this…” I learned quickly what worked and what didn’t work. My teachers reinforced behaviors I did well too.“Yes, that’s exactly how to do this thing… when you do that, you get this result…” Catching me in the act, and helping me identify the behavior to repeat. I am told that I coach well. I don’t know if I do or not, that’s in the eye of the person being coached. I do know that my style of coaching comes from the beautifully negative music teachers in my life. Teachers who never stopped to give me some false hope; but, teachers who were realistic in helping me build on what I had. Your improvements will not come from the eternal well of optimistic thought; no. Instead, expect the greatest improvement from your ability to learn from failure. A special shout out to the music teachers out there. Your students don’t know yet know how valuable you’ll be in their lives.

You can find a type of liberation embracing the idea that the only permanent thing in this life is that all life will end. That type of acceptance of fate can help you feel deeply in the moment. You can express more of who you are, you can feel motivated to do the thing you’ve always dreamed of, and you can love the people you are around that much more deeply. I feel closest to those I love when I tell myself that my next second with them is not guaranteed. However, the acceptance of fate and death does offer you an alternative to a mindful and content life. The gambler surrenders reason and wisdom to the wind in exchange for ill-informed chance. The gambler embraces the “you only live once” creed and throws caution to the wind. The gambler does not stop, still the mind, and pull forward wisdom from the past. The gambler cannot endure. Life is a long game; there are no “quick wins”. To win at life, you must temper the spirit and endure.

You are likely not.The fact that you know that you are not where you need to be is half the battle. Your next step is to still your mind and experiment.What if I go here? Does that help me get closer? Let me try. How far did it get me now that I took the step? Let me go back to where I started and try again.Wash, rinse, and repeat. Eventually, you’ll arrive.

“We are what they grow beyond. That is the burden of all masters.” — Yoda

Our teachers, our parents, the people in our lives that we admire; they are the starter to our bread. We take what the ideas and insights those people gave us and build. We grow, we innovate, we create jazz.

I know that I am my mom, dad, teachers, leaders; and I will my role is to master the best of who they are and grow beyond. I can’t thank those people enough for being the masters in my life.

There are questions that sting.What were you thinking when you…, Why did you…, Don’t you care…. The questions sting because they cause you to doubt. Doubt stings because it causes you to think, what if I was blind to what was in front of me… what if I’m not as good as I thought… what if it was all a lie… what’s real?Uncertainty stings because what we crave most in this world is stability - certainty. Certainty = survival.But here’s the thing… nothing is certain except that life is uncertain.We need to surrender and submit to uncertainty. It’s not natural to have certainty and a cushy life; that’s a red herring. What’s natural is chaos, complexity, and that all life forms will work for their own self-preserving interests. The question doesn’t sting. What stings is that you might have forgotten what life is about.

It stings for a moment, but eventually fades away… yet always lingers.When you take one to the gut, you must stand up straight and face the opponent head on; you must get back in the fight.The fight is where the outcomes happen; where effort meets reality. Get up and get in!