The benefit of being surrounded by people who don’t speak your language is that you’re left out of the conversation, isolated from connection, and the only things you can relate with are your thoughts. Believe it or not - we need more moments like that. Why?Because moments like that prompt us to be mindful of those we might be inadvertently isolating while we’re in our meetings, gatherings, or at home. And… if you are one of those people unintentionally isolated, still your mind and your thoughts. Listen, be open minded, and speak up. Often times people don’t realize that we might be feeling left out.

Friends come and go into our lives for various reasons and seasons. The best friends know that even if their season ends for now, fait could very easily orchestrate a time and place for them to meet back up, play a role, make change happen, and then go on to their separate ways. I’m seeing such a friend today - someone I haven’t seen in 10 years and only really met a few times on board a ship. I’m so thankful for this person and that I get to spend some time reconnecting even for just a few hours. Don’t take friends for granted and love each second with them as if it was your last. And then, once they’ve left, keep their spirit alive in your heart and soul - as if they never left… because… they haven’t.

You might be. People like us, people who read this email, sometimes are the “odd ones” out. The ones who:Think differently;Try new things;Think critically about what’s around us;Want to think about serving others first; or Believe there’s got to be something more to this thing called life.It’s okay to be the odd one out.I’m reminded now how much I love being in that position… which is where I find myself more often than not.

I’m in South Korea at a specialty coffee shop at the airport. For me, this is exciting:Coffee is a cultural device that brings people together.Different groups of people approach coffee differently.No matter how different I believe we humans can be, coffee re-affirms to me that there is more that unites us than divides us. Coffee - the great uniter… perhaps second to rice.

Decisions are like wine - they get better with age. Recently I blogged about a decision I made. I haven’t actioned on it yet, I’m giving it a bit of time. Why?I’m allowing the emotions of the experience to subside, I’m giving myself the benefit of time to reflect, I’m intentionally thinking about risk mitigation. Now, as I approach the implementation of my decision, I feel beyond confident in my ability to move forward with equanimity. Giving yourself a runway for action could be your best decision I’ve made yet!

In Seven Brief Lessons on Physics, Carlo Rovelli writes, “The fundamental phenomenon that distinguishes the future from the past is the fact that heat passes from things that are hotter to things that are colder.”Heat is created from the friction of molecules jumping around and bobbing into each other like a kettle of boiling water. The energy that is created - heat - is then transferred from the water into the kettle making it hot to the touch. Why is this important? Why the science lesson?Because when we work we are creating a sort of metaphorical friction that creates heat. And if we do work that matters, we’ll be creating so much heat that others will be inspired to pick up where we left off - we are transferring our energy.If that is all true, we make our future real for us by doing more work that matters - transferring more heat from objects that are hot (our past) to ones that are cold (our dreams for the future). Time is actually neutral and constant. It’s what we do with it - the heat we generate and transfer - that matters.Tip for People Managers: how are you creating the right type of friction on your teams? How are you getting your direct report team to create enough good energy that it spills over to other teams? Are your people doing the work that matters - work that invites more aggressive (and good) friction?

“There are times when even to live is an act of bravery.” - Seneca, Letters to Lucilius LXXVIIIThat quote makes me think of my mom. A brave person who’s survived cancer (multiple times), made decisions that anybody else would have said was bonkers, and still kept moving forward. Certainly not a critique, but my mom hasn’t always moved with equanimity through her challenges. How many of us could? To become more resilient we must fight ourselves. When it seems as if we’re at the end, we must not allow ourselves to become slaves to our body and our minds. We must fight. We must reminds ourselves that continuous practice of courage, temperance, and wisdom are virtues that will help us move through our life’s crucible moments. Change is a messy, and we are all works in progress.Perhaps you might not achieve a Zen-master level of peace. But you can be like my mom - accept fait and face it head on. Because I know she reads this… thanks, Mom, for being a strong role model.

Fortune and Fait create obstacles for us to overcome.Fortune invites failure; andFait invites action. As to fortune, don’t allow that siren’s song to get in your mind, cloud your judgment, and take you on to paths that aren’t for you. As for fait, it’s a product of our decisions and the natural way things happen - prepare for its arrival and be ready to move with fate, like a dance.

I failed recently in making a decision a few months ago that was largely an emotional decision. And that emotion was fear. I put myself in a scenario that I was not living true-enough to my values and that doesn’t feel right for me. On the other hand, I wondered if I wasn’t giving my decision enough of a chance… so I decided to write it out on an index card with prompts inspired by Farnam’s Street’s Decision Journal.Here’s the outline I used:Date, time, and how I am currently feeling;What I intend to do.What’s happening that’s causing me to think that’s the best decision;Tactical/objective problem statement in addition to the previous bullet point’s story;Identified potential problems for me and for others impacted by the decision;Identified and described alternatives that I considered;Described the range of potential outcomes;Set an expectation for what will most (and least) likely happen.Now… it’s on me to decide. After I decide and act, I am going to fill out the last few sections on my index card:Describe the outcome.6 month review learnings: what did I learn from that decision?I used Farnam Street’s prompts, but am choosing an index card versus a piece of paper. I think I will start making a collection of “decision journal” index cards that I will keep. I encourage you to try this out. And if you do, I recommend highly that you use a pencil or pen to write out your decision. Iff dancing is how you physicalize music, then hand writing is how you physicalize your thoughts. Pro Tip for People Managers: I will be doing this for myself at work and I will be encouraging direct reports to do this… this could be the best way to improve critical thinking and decision-making skills!

Reductions in ColorColor is a simple concept - our perception of light interacting with receptors in our eye. However, when the concept is applied to groups of similarly melanated people things get complicated.I might be regarded as “white,” however my body produces quite a bit of melanin. I am likely more of a “caramel” (because I like caramel) shade. My brother could be considered “white,” but he’s more “olive’y”. Can we be reduced to “white”? Or can we be seen as “David” and “John”? Monoliths of CultureWhat is culture? Oversimplified definition: the channels a group uses for interpersonal communication. What Is multi-cultural? See the oversimplified definition of culture and +1. If that is relatively true, is it possible to say that Colombian culture is better than German culture? I don’t think so. How about “white” culture better than another?If you’ve read this far…People are not a monolith - a group of people with a similar pigmentation are not all the same and they don’t value all of the same things. Not every Republican is Pro Life (if you’re in the US, you’ll understand that), not every German is systematic, not every Latinx person plays Salsa (or even likes it), not every “White” person is a supremacist, and not every Filipino likes Jollibee (though I could be very wrong with that last point.)Put even simpler:Be curious about people, withhold judgment until you understand more;Get around different types of people. I had the privilege of working in the cruise ship industry which is literally a mishmash of cultures that taught me so much about us. You can do it too… just go to different places where you live and experience it.Don’t reduce people to a color, a culture, or an idea when you don’t know them.Put even more simpler:Love people for who they are. Love yourself for who you are. The ultimate oversimplified answer to all of our problems:Love more.