Perspective taking works.

I took a ride on Galileo’s ship and it’s sooooo much fun! Scenario:My sister works with a difficult and arguably abusive customer. When the abuse went too far Maria said, “okay, someone else can take this customer.” While speaking with my sister she spoke about how proud she was that she “finally” stood up for herself. (Enter stage left, Galileo’s Ship)Me: How did the conversations go leading up to that point? Maria: Well, it’s been awful. I wasn’t winning. I just kept being empathetic with the customer and re-focusing their frustration on the thing that was frustrating them and that would call them down.Me: Well it looks like you’ve been winning this whole time… did you see how I am seeing that?Maria: What are you talking about? Me: It looks like you have been successfully re-focusing anger from you to the actual cause of frustration, de-escalating conversations, and having momentary wins with your customer. Is that true? Maria: Yes, but…Me: Then it’s fair to say you have had success leading up to the point where you are now?Maria: Yes, I suppose…Me: And you say that the customer was ultra-abusive to you recently and your response responded was to draw a bright line in the sand and advocation for yourself, like you said. That’s true?Maria: Yes. Okay… So I have had lots of little wins up to this point! (Galileo’s ship exists Stage Right)ConclusionMaria needed an outside perspective to help her create a fuller picture of the story she was telling herself.Now she tells herself a story of a woman that’s been proportionately responding (and winnIng) customer conversations while advocating for herself. I am proud that she’s winning conversations, but I am more proud that she sees more that she’s winning at being herself.

2022-08-25    
Take a ride on Galileo's Ship.

A thought experiment developed by Galileo. Let’s say you’re on a cruise ship below deck (you can’t see outside) and holding a ball. The ship is moving forward at whatever speed you like. You drop the ball. All you will observe is the ball dropping to the floor. But, imagine there’s an observer outside the ship and you have X-ray vision, you will see the ship moving forward and you dropping the ball. Why I love this thought experiment:When you’re below deck or unable to see outside the ship, you will experience very little to tell you the ship is moving forward. Both you and the observer will see you ball drop vertically to the floor. Only the observer will notice you moving forward at the same time.Galileo’s ship is not only an early inspiration for what we would come to know as relativity, it’s an antidote we need as a culture - scientific empathy.Another way to think of scientific empathy is perception gathering. If you’re sighted, your left eye perceives the world differently than the right. Your brain collects both perspectives and develops a singular vision that is your world. When we find ourselves in disagreement with others, perhaps we need to take a ride on Galileo’s Ship, try to see the world from the other’s vantage point - gather perspective, and then create a more complete - and inclusive - story to tell ourselves.

2022-08-24    
You have died of dysentery... err... consumption.

Machiavelli wrote something like this,“If you get consumption, in the beginning it will be easy to cure and difficult to recognize. But over time, if unrecognized and untreated, it will become easy recognize and difficult to cure.” - Adapted from Machiavelli’s The Prince If you are overworking yourself, at the onset it will be easy to cure but it will be difficult to recognize. You won’t see it coming, you’ll think you’re being amazingly productive, or something else.But as your work stress compounds and compounds the signs of overwork become more recognizable - poor sleep, poor performance, poor habits. And as Machiavelli observes, at that point, it is difficult to cure. Mind your body and mind your spirit. Your decisions create compound interest that you won’t feel until later, and the return might not be what you want. Nobody pays you enough not to watch out for yourself.

2022-08-23    
Away with every obstacle

When obstacles are in your way, advance and remove them. What is standing in your way, becomes your way. If you do that,You get the benefit of overcoming an obstacle. You get to continue advancing forward through time and space. You get your life back.

2022-08-22    
Do what you can

Have you had a “Fuck You, Universe!” day? The kind of day when it feels like everything hits you one after the other, Where you wish you could just catch a break, When you can say, “you know, I get why ostrich’s put their heads in the ground…”From very personal experience, I can tell you that Theodore Roosevelt’s quote is an antidote:“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” Everything is not happening at once,The people in your life have no idea what you’re going through,You have not hit the brick wall, and Bing eating a Jet’s pizza (as good as they are) is not what you should be doing in spite of your feels.No.Instead…Do what you can - what’s right in front of you.Be like water - effortlessly allow yourself to experience the contours of the day. What feels like a rapid, if you allow it, will feel more like a serene river.All you have is the present.Do you want to spend it in anxiety? Or would you rather take back your power?

2022-08-21    
We're not asking the right questions.

Ever been asked the “I’m not going to ask you what I’m really asking you with the hopes you can read my mind?” question?Interviewer: “Tell me how you schedule your day.”Interviewee: Answers…Interviewer: That’s not how I think someone like you should schedule your day…Or been subject to the “verify and strike” approach?Person A: Hi how are you? What are you doing today?Person B: Hanging out.Person A: Oh good, then you can you do this, that, and the other thing with me.How about the “positive lead with the rug pulled out” method?Leader: How did your meeting go with ____?Person: I felt it went well, so happy to do ___ with ___ and I feel like we really made good outcomes.Leader: Okay, well I heard anonymously that you _____ and that’s not good. Here are the aforementioned approaches re-imagined.I’m not going to ask you…: If you were in ___ role, how would you approach scheduling your day?Verify then Strike: I want to hang out with you soon, what are you doing on ____?Positive Lead with the Rug Pulled Out: I received feedback that this went down in the meeting ____, I don’t want to respond until we have had a chance to talk first. My guess is that this was a misunderstanding. What’s your take?A good question sets up the person giving the answer for success. Isn’t that what we want for ourselves?#rantover(also… don’t read into this about something I’ve experienced… I’ve talked to a lot of candidates lately and I’m reflecting out those conversations. Also… who hasn’t experienced this type of thing??)

2022-08-20    
Time passes.

Did you know…If there is no motion through space, time passes faster? And,If there is motion through space, time passes slower?Obviously, I’m oversimplifying the concept, still, I believe the model offers insight into how we can choose to live.Being bored is both a highly sought after and repugnant experience. “Stop being bored, get up and do something!” and “the best innovators sought boredom as a way for their brains to rest from the act of living and start creating.” Hustle-culture is a double-edged sword too.“I’ll quit when I’m dead,” and “I’m burnt out from the grind.”Instead, we might value a balance.We might value seasons of moving through space doing lots of things, hustling, and grinding life out AND balanced that with moments for pause, reflection, and to exist. Time passes either way.The key is to do something with the time - and that something could just as easily be inaction as it could be action.How are you spending your weekend?

2022-08-19    
It's not your outcome.

If you’re doing something for somebody else and they don’t like your work, remember: “it’s not your outcome.” But David, what about caring about the work that matters? Work that matters is a mindset and a behavior. It’s deciding to create and ship work that was built with intention and care. The work (whatever it is) was built with someone in mind - “here, I made this for you, I hope it helps.”At the point in which the work is accepted, it’ is no longer in our hands. The outcome, the response, is owned by the person we are serving; and their response is theirs. You can’t make your audiences love your originals; You can’t lead the horse and make it drink;You can’t make people vote your way; andYou can’t fight city hall. But you can:Develop and ship an idea to an audience;Engage your audience while you’re writing your music - “hey, does this thing I’m doing resonate with you?”;Help your neighbor and seek to understand their beliefs and worldview; and you can,Act.Don’t get lost in how someone received the outcome. Your work isn’t always going to resonate. Focus on getting back up, re-working your work, and shipping again.It’s not your outcome, it’s your work that matters.

2022-08-18    
Somebody doesn't really leave you...

If you took the time to enjoy their presence when they were with you. So many people come into our life for a moment and for a season. We case very much for those people, never stopping to imagine what our life would be like without them. In fact, we dread that moment so much that we actively avoid the thought. But why? If it is true that everything ends, then I want to enjoy every second with the people I’m around. I want to intentionally make time for people. I want to intentionally make time for myself.When I am with people, I want that time to matter. I want to leave an energy behind that will still be there after I left… like the smell your kitchen gets when you pan fry burgers and there’s not enough ventilation. Nobody really leaves us. They live on within us. Find solace remembering what the people in your life mean to you as if they have already left. That way, they’ll be with you when you’re alone; and when you see them next, you’ll be that much more excited.

2022-08-17    
Why is preparing to leave so stressful?

Ever notice that when we prepare to travel, there’s always an anxious rush of energy?Do I have this__;Oh my gosh, I almost forgot that__;Did I forgot to turn off the __?What if ___ doesn’t __?The act of getting to where we want to go is riddled with tension and stress.Often times our arrival at the destination isn’t much better - unpacking, checking in, getting situated.We have a few days to do what we need to do and then we wash, rinse, and repeat the process again as we go home. When do we actually rest?

2022-08-16